public:cb_mirror:if_you_can_t_say_anything_nice_satire_txt_blogposts_18497
To view this on the COS website, click here if-you-can-t-say-anything-nice-satire
If You Can't Say Anything Nice...(Satire)
Did you know that saying, “I haven’t seen you in so long!” is actually a micro-aggressive, subconsciously-biased, racially insensitive slur?!
| There was a time in the primitive, dark past when most folks took the English language at face value. Descriptions such as, “Addicted”, “Handicapped”, “Philippine Islands”, “On the warpath”, “Fireman”, “Survivor”, “Grandfather”, “Whitespace”, and “More than one way to skin a cat” were considered simple words and phrases. Obviously, all of these are problematic, as they have their roots in racism, bigotry, and intolerance. Did you know that saying, “I haven’t seen you in so long!” is actually a micro-aggressive, subconsciously-biased, racially insensitive slur?! An extensive list of 160 words and idioms that are “racist, violent, and biased” was recently released by Stanford University, along with alternatives to the menacing and savage examples presented. (The actual peoples and groups supposedly offended by these expressions were mysteriously silent on the issue, but at least the compassionate faculty at Stanford took it upon themselves to speak for them). While Stanford walked back the “Elimination of Harmful Language Initiative” after receiving incessant criticism and mockery for it, we at COS refuse to bow to public pressure, and here below have set forth our own list of words and phrases that we deem the educational experts would deem certain people groups would deem racist, violent, and biased: | Instead Of | Consider Using | Context | Attractive | Personally Engaging | Insensitive to those deemed “unattractive” by outdated societal views of beauty. | Winner | Contextually Unique | Implies some people are losers | TV (Television) | Intermittent Cinematic Presentation | Insensitive to those afflicted with Trichomonas Vaginalis (TV) disease. | High School | Center of Adolescent Indoctrination | Promotes drug usage amongst students. See also: stone’s throw, tripping down the street, wasted resources, potted plant, “He’s such a dope!”, the laundry is strung out, the phone is charged up, the car is jacked, the gun is loaded. | Bust a Gut | Brimming with Mirth | Insensitive to those suffering from ruptured intestines. | Wear a Mask | Curb Your Oxygen | Racially insensitive to the historical practice of muzzling slaves. | Raining Cats and Dogs | Mother Earth is sweating profusely/ spitting on us. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Suggests violence against animals, implying they are falling to their deaths. | Hold That Thought | Give Your Thinking a Timeout | Implying the speaker is holding their thought against its will, encouraging domestic violence. | Hit the Bullseye | Hug the Target | Promotes animal abuse. | Bag Your Groceries | Swaddle Your Foodstuffs | Historically associated with the “brown paper bag test” that some Black sororities and fraternities used to judge skin color. | Butcher | Meat Artist | The word, “butch” implies a male stereotype. See also: Macho, He-man. | Baker | Oven Proprietor | The consumption of baked goods has its roots in racism. | Candlestick Maker | Wax Flashlight Fashioner | Insensitive to pyrophobics. | Citizen | Settled Person | Implies existence of non-citizens or illegal aliens. | Donald Trump | Number 45 | May cause fits of anger and exasperation in certain groups. | Joe Biden | Brandon | May cause fits of anger and exasperation in certain groups. | For Heaven's Sake | For the greater good of Society | May offend Atheists. | Christmas | Winter Solstice | May offend those of other religions. | Eat Your Vegetables | Partake of Mother Earth's Body | Usage of a slur against comatose patients. | Click the Mouse (computer) | Fondle the Mouse | Encourages dominance over animals | Take a Shower | Soap Yourself | Suggests you are depriving someone else of cleaning themselves, thus encouraging theft and racial supremacy. | Inflation | Plus-sizing the Economy | Suggests fat-shaming | Politics/Politician | Congressional Denizen | Offensive, as it is derived from the Greek word for “Many”, and ticks, as in blood-sucking leeches. | Communism | Socialism | May alarm those who wish to avoid the bloodiest ideology in human history. | God | Government | May be found offensive to certain groups. | We jest, of course, but this is a major battle strategy of the enemies of America: redefining the language, and so replacing it with their own. Let us remember that critical warning, “He who defines, wins.” We must not bow to the Marxist narrative. We must not bow to the pressure of the radical elites. Instead, we must refuse to comply, and turn their pressure back on them. What did the revisionist folks at Stanford do when they met resistance? They caved, because they know - as do all the Communists in this country – that when Americans unite to fight for freedom and justice, we outnumber them 10,000 to one! The only reason that there are so many crises in America right now - that Washington D.C., Hollywood, and the Media run roughshod over liberty and self-governance - isn’t because of their numbers, their cleverness, or their wealth. There are in fact, very few of them, and their power is only an illusion. Their schemes are mostly successful because too few stand up and face down the bully. Government makes up less than 1% of the U.S. population, which means if just 10% of us fought back against their tyranny, they wouldn’t even be able to enforce it. Remember when Joe Biden tried to force a private business vaccine mandate, and 24 states refused to comply? That mandate completely vanished! We the people have the power, but we also have the responsibility, and when our elected leaders do bad things, it reflects badly on us. The American people have not exercised authority over the government in a long time. That time must end! It starts with reclaiming the power that is ours, and calling a Convention of States to reign in Washington D.C.! # | PETITION_FORM{petition_tag:;coalition_id:} | # |
| Page Metadata | |
| Login Required to view? | No |
| Created: | 2023-01-05 15:44 GMT |
| Updated: | 2023-01-05 18:13 GMT |
| Published: | 2023-01-05 05:00 GMT |
| Converted: | 2025-11-11 12:01 GMT |
| Change Author: | Will Zwart |
| Credit Author: | |
public/cb_mirror/if_you_can_t_say_anything_nice_satire_txt_blogposts_18497.txt · Last modified: 2025/11/11 12:01 by 127.0.0.1